Day One Hundred Ten


I am still feeling off. Off of the schedule and of the daily routines. I have been restless without accomplishing much. It has been frustrating but not in a dramatic way whatsoever. It's just something is there - some say it's the allergy. Some other time it's the rain and sometime it's the humidity. What do I make out of this? There is nothing wrong about what it is. I can say it's because I'm moving but I have never had such an organized move in my whole life. I have been spending more time on a computer. I get to know more people by doing ceramics and I want to maintain the relationships. For me to do so I go to the computer and write emails and send pictures. And this makes me spend many hours on a computer hitting keyboard like the piano keys only that do not create a melody. I am spending less time making things with my hand. I can easily imagine a graph showing the activities of my day, represented in numbers, making a sharp downward slope for me touching clay. These days I am mainly making things in my head: I know what the next project is going to be about and the schedule and the things after that.  I know that I want to do a show - and so do many of us - why why can't we just have a place to show. Everyone is busy and no one likes to be busy. Or do we? After the fantasy and nightmare project I'm interested in renewability - the ability to come out as something different but as an extension of what it has been... what we call a change is more like a transformation - a renewal, like a plant and that's what makes us keep doing because otherwise we will die.